How it Feels to Start Awakening to your Soul Mission
Many of us have come to earth as ‘light bearers’ in the world with a mission to support the evolution of human consciousness at this time. You are a soul with a mission and have a role to play, be that great or ‘small’. However as you transition into a new body, you forget on a conscious level all what has gone before… but the soul remembers.
Yet there comes a time when we begin to ‘wake up’, our soul and our guides begin to remind us - you came here with a purpose. The torch of your Calling activates and burns brightly - it becomes hard to ignore. So what does this awakening to our Calling (soul mission) feel like?
Ill Fitting
You’re in the world, you may have a family, you’re paying the bills, going to work, doing the supermarket shopping but another experience is opening up for you… It feels like something in you is stirring or waking up within you. You begin to shuffle in your own skin, disquieted perhaps experiencing a growing dissatisfaction. You’re not even sure what is happening. You don’t know what to do about it.
A wordless shifting, something feeling unsettled or reorienting but it’s not logical. All you know is you begin to feel like you don't fit in your life in the same way anymore. You're starting to feel like you're not in the right place. A feeling that ‘this doesn't feel right anymore’ or a voice that simply says ‘not this’ - yet it offers no other answers.
An Unspeakable Pull
Having a Calling can feel like sensing an audible sound in the distance. It calls with a feeling that there's something else you're meant to be doing (but often gives no answers - yet!). It feels like there is a mission to fulfill but you’ve forgotten (which in itself is bewildering or maddening). It's this invisible pull towards something you can’t see,you don’t know what it is and you don’t know why.
It may be wholly inconvenient with where your life is right now or your ‘life plan’. It may even feel impossible to try to articulate and if you do people don't get it (including you!). But this intuitive feeling that something is Calling you is getting louder and you might begin to feel more uncomfortable in your current life. But as yet the clarity as to what is beckoning you isn't coming.
A Yearning
There may be a growing yearning inside you for something more. Life feels more and more unsatisfying. You may feel more and more distracted. You feel like there is a different way to be in the world, one that could feel rich, deep, connecting. A world where you feel guided, open to a flow of intelligence, living in intuitive alignment as a way of living, not just one based on logic and material things. It's like some parts of you can remember another way of being, knowing that there is another possibility. Sometimes the yearning can feel like an ache and other times like a gentle stream to follow.
This yearning can also be linked to our role in the world or community. Yearning to belong or serve, a sense that we have gifts to share with the world that we are yet to realise or uncover. It's like part of us, knows the satisfaction of what that would feel like, and yet we're not there yet, so we long for it - a strange ‘know’, yet not knowing yet.
Intuitive Awakening
You may even start to have fledgling intuitive feelings, or out of the ordinary experiences that you can't explain - synchronicities, sudden insights, ‘intuitive hits’, a sense of knowing, intense dreams, receiving repeated messages from different sources, suddenly you know you need to speak to X, or you have a drive, to do automatic writing or painting (where the words/images seem to flow through you rather than come from your mind) etc - and you’re thinking what on earth do I do with this? You might even feel a bit on the ‘crazy’ spectrum! You want to normalise what is happening to you but you’re not sure where to turn. It feels mysterious and you are unable to pin down the experience.
You’re having intuitive experiences, but the ‘witch wound’ is real for you. You fear being seen as crazy or woo woo, illogical or ungrounded by others if you were to talk about your intuitive leanings or interests openly so you keep it quiet. You’re not talking about what is happening to you so feel confused, lost and alone. You’re only just developing these fledgling leanings and you fear the thought of ‘come out of the intuitive closet’.
Fear of Being Different
You begin to feel that you're entering a new territory, but you are without a map. Each step you're taking to investigate this experience, this Calling - this waking up, often leaves you feeling clunky and confused. It can feel like poking around in the dark to try and find something - as there's no logical sign posts. Suddenly, you're having to approach this differently to anything else you've done before to find answers - you sense them but they feel veiled to you. You feel lost trying to figure out how to live differently.
In this fog of your own confusion, you may be faced with blank faces of friends asking what are you doing? What are you searching for? To which you can only answer, ‘I don't know but I've just got to follow this feeling’. In our loud logical consciousness led world you may feel misunderstood or fear you’re getting it wrong, but you just have to engage with this intuitive pull. You may begin to feel like you're following an invisible thread, led only by internal nudges and gentle hunches. In truth you are learning to listen to the language of your soul.
Dark Night of the Soul
Lastly for some of us the road to our Calling can involve a ‘dark night of the soul’. You might even be experiencing mental or physical health challenges. Suddenly, emotional traumas from the past are surfacing, and will no longer be ignored. You're just trying to cope with daily living as you integrate and grow which can be really uncomfortable. If this is where you're at right now, I would suggest you get one-to-one healing support to help you. This is the part of the journey you don't want to do alone, because it can feel overwhelming at times, but know that it can also be a natural part of the process for many - there is nothing wrong with you.
This is because to awaken, parts of our psyche need to die to birth the new - new understandings, new perspectives, new ways of being, new ideas or capacities. During this process aspects of our relationships may need to transform for us to grow into who we need to become and as our role in the world is transitioning on a subconscious level there can be a growing uncertainty of our path which feels deeply uneasy.
Waking Up
If this sounds familiar, then you may discover that you are waking up to your soul's mission in this life. I want you to know you're not alone, I’ve been through this too and there are hundreds of thousands of people on the planet right now going through the same experience. You’re waking up to your Calling and your experience is ‘normal’ for a lightbearer ‘a bringer of light to the world’. Keep going - the answers are coming.
Enjoyed this blog? Leave me your thoughts below as I'd love to hear them or share the blog with a friend. To read more join my e-letter to receive my blog and personal reflections to your inbox.
