8 Books that marked turning points in my perspective as an Intuitive Empath
Like many other people, there have been significant points on my healing journey where I encountered a theory or method which had an impact on my perspective or understanding of my experience. They also influenced my approach to life as well as my healing practice as an Intuitive Empath. I want to share my journey of understanding with you, in case it gives you a springboard to jump from in your own learning and self discovery. These are those key books and theories to date:
1. Buddhism and the mind
‘All experience is preceded by mind, led by mind, made by mind. Speak or act with a peaceful mind and happiness follows like a never-departing shadow’. Dhammapada, Gil Fronsdal translation, 2005
When I was 14 / 15 I was feeling very lost. By the time I was a teenager I was feeling depressed, life feeling pointless and meaningless. It was around this age my nan died and I was questioning the meaning of life further. I remember expressing my confusion around the futility of how short life is, to Marion our childminder at the time, who became my first ‘mystic mentor’ she said “Well some believe in rebirth”.
I remember that moment in the car so clearly, the truth of reality (for me) just hit me - ‘yes that’s it’. This conversation then led me to my first book on Buddhism, a simple but concise read ‘Introducing Buddhism’ by Chris Pauling which was when I realised I believed in Buddhist philosophy. At 21 after handing in my dissertation, I went traveling in Italy, where I ‘should’ have been relaxing and having ‘the time of my life’ - but instead found my mind was like wild strobe lighting anxiously dancing all over the place wherever I went making the trip unpleasant and at times unbearable. I then found ‘Wherever you go there you are’ by Jon Zabbat-Zinns which really spoke to me and my experience of incessant anxious thoughts colouring my world.
On my return it was at that point I really started my exploration of the mind and body more deeply, beginning with yoga, then later learning and practicing Buddhism. At the time I was keen to learn how to ‘calm’ my mind and body - as well as shift my perception and reactivity, to encourage more positive states, become more loving and spacious. However it was only when I practiced in community that I really started to make more headway in my personal growth and development in this area. Whatever your philosophical leanings I would advise practising with others for support and connection. Read more book recommendations.
2. Intuition and knowing
“So what compromises the Wild Women?...She is all that is of instinct, of the worlds both seen and hidden…she is intuition…She whispers from night dreams…She is the voices that says, ‘This way, this way’ ” p11.
My journey of consciously listening to my intuition, began with this book ‘Women who run with the wolves’ by Clarissa Pinkola-Estes which speaks of the wisdom of our wild knowing. I am hugely grateful for the lessons this book taught me at the time and cherish it. I remember my ex-boyfriend's Mother who had a powerful grace leaned in close to me after a late night conversation in her delightfully wonky and art filled Tudor flat, pointedly looking me dead in the eyes and said with pressing instruction “you need to read this book”. I felt somewhat surprised at the time as I wasn't sure what she was alluding to and she wouldn't talk about the book ‘just read it’ she said. But I was put off as it was a chunky beast of a book for a slow reading dyslexic.
It wasn't until I broke up with her son that I read it and I realised with a sad-irony that what she was trying to draw my attention to, a lack of listening to my gut instinct and intuition, was in fact the inescapable black-knot-in-the-gut driving force for me ending that relationship. A ‘knowing voice’ which I uncomfortably hid from and blocked its painful truth but it persisted to haunt me, whispering until in the end it screamed undeniably for me to listen.
After reading this book and that break up I started training my intuition, I started listening to my ‘knowing’ over my logic. It is a poetic, mythic, dream-like, storytelling read - advocating for the importance of creativity, the power of listening to your wild inner hag and that your wild 'knowing' will release you from what no longer serves you. Excellent rewilding medicine for good girl Empaths and HSP’s.
3. Mind and Embodiment
Learning about the relationship between mind and body began for me with my yoga practice in my early 20s. I began yoga at university in an attempt to calm my anxiety after leaving counseling and I found it effective, which made me curious so I delved deeper Into the body-mind connection. From yoga I began to learn about the acupressure system of the body (Acu-Yoga: Michael Gach-Reed), this took me to wonderful Shiatsu Training with the Shiatsu College which works with the Traditional Chinese Medicine meridian system and transformed my understanding of the impact of the interconnection of body, mind, emotions and spirit. Shiatsu Theory and Practice by Carola Beresford-Cooke was our training ‘bible’.
With my Shiatsu training I learnt to sense subtle realms of existence and energy - I learnt to be able to interpret what I could feel through each of my senses for information (visual and audio) which I still use today in my practice but off the body. I also learnt to train my sensitivity and intuition further. For me working with embodiment was an attempt to access a doorway to the master of our conscious experience - the subconscious mind and to effectively change my ‘programming’ - change mental shifts and changes in emotional responses as well as triggers. But it wasn't working as effectively as I wanted, so again I wanted to go deeper.
I remember hearing about EFT from someone on a retreat - Tapping on meridian points whilst working through an emotional problem. They spoke about it like it was magic and the results they said they were experiencing were so phenomenal I just didn't think it was possible. So I didn't try it for a year! But then I read EFT - Tapping by Sue Beer and Emma Roberts and began solo tapping, seeing immediate results. Not long after Sue and Emma at the EFT Centre then became my teachers. Later I also became qualified as a hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner via their IET Diploma which I would highly recommend. Receiving Bodycode has also strongly informed my practice and understanding of the power of mind and intention. I hold an enormous amount of gratitude towards all my teachers for all the life changing knowledge they passed on and highly recommend you look up their work.
Needless to say my understanding and experience of ‘mind’ and body is profoundly different today as I combine my knowledge. For example, this may sound woo woo, but I now have the ability to ‘tune into’ the subconscious mind of another via the body on zoom and I can sense the feelings in their body, ‘see’ memories they experienced or even hear their thoughts - as I understand our ‘mind’ is SO much more than the notion of thoughts stuck in our brain. I then use this awareness to aid the release of ‘blocks’ with Tapping or intention to create transformation. I’m not special and this is no longer woo woo to me but normal. I simply trained and developed my skills as a highly sensitive person and you can too.
4. Trauma
I remember vividly I was staying at my step sister's flat cat sitting. I had an argument with my then boyfriend who had just left. I remember my whole body began churning like a washing machine, I felt sick, breathless, weak, my mind was going absolutely wild with anxious thoughts. I felt exhausted by despair yet completely wired by panic. I lay on the floor to try to calm feeling like I was blacking out but nothing helped, everything felt hopeless and I felt helpless.
This was unfortunately a terrifyingly familiar feeling, that I tried to hide, control, manage and avoid. I didn't feel safe and something in me had been triggered. In that desperate moment, I just couldn’t cope with it anymore. I was totally overwhelmed. I felt that this couldn't just be ’panic’, it felt too big. It felt like my body and mind was remembering 50 different moments of terror throughout my life at once. Something else was happening.
Then my answer came via the book, ‘Waking the tiger, healing trauma’ by Peter Levine. It was like reading a profile of my experience, my jaw dropped, I finally had my answer - I was experiencing trauma symptoms. I now understood that trauma wasn't only caused by experiencing war or a car crash which we commonly associate it with, but trauma symptoms can be created in Trauma response that can be created by ANY situation where we felt fearful, alone, helpless and overwhelmed. Moments where our experience is ‘too much, too soon, too fast’. This can then lead to chronic anxiety and depression amongst many symptoms (read more).
What this knowledge gave me was the ability to seek out a practice that could resolve these symptoms which for me was receiving EFT (with NLP / Hypnosis blended) - there are other approaches. Living with trauma symptoms is completely debilitating and life limiting, understanding your experience from this perspective was incredibly liberating for me, before the healing even began. I would argue that due to our highly sensitive nervous system, Empaths and HSP’s - depending on your disposition and life experience could be more likely to be working with shock or trauma symptoms as you are deeply impacted simply by everyday living.
5. Shamanism
I did my first drum journey with an intimate group in a meditation hut with my teacher Vajragupta. I remember wondering if anything was going to happen and as soon as I closed my eyes and the beat began, I saw feathers drifting down in my mind. The hypnotic state I entered was akin to the powerful language of my dreams, felt like many of the meditations and ‘visions’ I had experienced. By the end of the session I was beaming, as something clicked for me, I found a bridge to my subconscious and the visual language of the world I entered spoke to me deeply, my inner world finally felt ‘seen’ in some way.
My friend Srirajni then gave me the book Singing the soul back home by Caitlyn Mathews for my birthday shortly after which I loved. From there I discovered the wonderful work of Sandra Ingermens' which is wonderful. I especially enjoyed Awakening to the Spirit World - she also has a podcast ‘The Shamans Cave’. These texts spoke to me with their understanding that our world is interconnected, that we are helped and supported by guiding spirits or helpers and that there are realms of existence far beyond that which we see with our eyes.
The shamanic way is a soulful way of living, acknowledging a world beyond our own, it is an ancient system which to my mind practically works with the principles of quantum physics (!) helping us to receive support as well as intuitive knowledge. It can provide a framework to access the deeper realms of our own experience as well as receive healing in trance. This approach is a way of working with the power of our subconscious mind. As highly sensitive people I think it's valuable to explore languages and approaches to our experience that speaks to our heart and soul, giving us support and guidance in the world to make life more enriching whatever that may be for us.
6. Women’s Wisdom
“Wild power is a living presence that’s seeking expression through you. it's your calling, and It longs to be embodied and expressed through the singularity of who you are. it's an unnameable, unknowable mystery at the heart of your being”
Wild Power by Alexander Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer is a book I love and often return to at the beginning of my cycle. Again this is an exploration of how we can get in touch with our innate rhythms and intuitive guidance via our menstrual cycle. My cycle was never something of interest to me but more of a burden and inconvenience as for many. But when the wisdom of cycle awareness began to enter my consciousness and I started to understand the cyclical nature of my energy, moods and needs it soon became an invaluable method of understanding myself and working with not against life.
I was able to have more self compassion and understanding, I know I need to plan downtime approximately, or avoid certain people during my pms time (!) or book less clients, or drive to nursery drop off not walk etc. ‘Giving myself even 1%’ of what I need during my period even if it's busy. I now work with my bleed and really experience a thinning of the veils having very vivid lucid dreams. Dreams of Awakening by Charlie Morley is a great place to start on Lucid Dreaming) and I listen closely for intuitive messages.
Your cycle can be another doorway to intuitive wisdom and in this case, feminine power. If you are interested in the sacred feminine and goddess traditions Sophie Bashford’s ‘You are a goddess’ could be a good start. If you type sacred feminine into your podcast app - lots of options will pop up to explore! Personally I have a strong interest in the Fierce feminine from a Buddhist perspective and love ‘Wisdom rising journey into the mandala of the empowered feminine’ by Lama Tsultrim Allione which explores dakini’s. If you are a highly sensitive women, as you develop a deeper connection with your intuition you may discover a connection to the wisdom of the feminine arising in you to explore.
7. Quantum healing
“If you want a new outcome, you will have to break the habit of being yourself, and reinvent a new self.” Joe Dispenza
One of the books on my reading list for my ‘Integrated Energy Techniques’ diploma was ‘Breaking the habit of yourself’ by Joe Dispenza who featured in the film ‘What the ‘Bleep’ do we know’. At the time of my training my mind was being blown open by the ‘new’ science of quantum physics, how this relates to the mind, healing and the true nature of reality! I have actually listened to this book on repeat, as I want to retrain my brain to experience a paradigm shift in terms of what is ‘normal’ to a quantum understanding of what is possible in terms of our healing and transformative potential.
Personally I LOVE the science that backs up alternative approaches to healing mind and body because it gives me further confidence in the transformative effect of what I'm exploring and the logical part of my mind is satisfied so the intuitive can get on with the work! The Intention Experiment by Lynne Mctaggart, amongst many of her books, also explores the science behind the power of intention and thought which is really interesting.
My greatest obsession is transformation and freedom. I find our capacity for change fascinating. To grow in wisdom and compassion. I explore the most effective methods to achieve ‘rapid’ change. I do daily self hypnosis meditations and practice ‘mental rehearsal’ to create further personal change in different areas - finding it powerful. I use the Silva Method techniques (books on the subject are poor and confusing I found personally, the Silva Method foundation course is excellent though) but inspired by the work of Joe Dispenza, Lynne Mctaggart and applying my experience of meditation. Finding teachers that inspire you and give you confidence as well as methods that work for you will be important on your journey too.
8. Journey of Self discovery
On your own personal journey of self discovery there will be many different avenues and models you can explore to understand who you are and why you are the way you are. You may find having your astrology chart done is useful, or doing personality tests such as Myers Briggs, human design, enneagram etc gives you helpful insights or a framework to see yourself with.
Finally these are four areas that helped me shape my understanding of myself and my needs… Realising I was introverted in my early 20’s and there was actually nothing wrong with me for wanting more time on my own and not to be talking all the time as I was an introvert was incredibly helpful at the time. Then learning to honor that! ‘Quiet The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking’ by Susan Cain is a refreshing read on the topic, you can listen to her Ted Talk on the subject.
Secondly learning I was Dyslexic at 16 years old was a huge piece of the puzzle as it had such an impact on my way of experiencing the world and increased struggles in education. I remember doing my Shiatsu diploma in my late 20s feeling really frustrated during an essay because I just couldn't get the words out onto paper but I knew full well that I understood the material in my mind. I thought to myself at that moment there must be an advantage to having dyslexia which is when I found this book the ‘Dyslexic Advantage’ which boosted my confidence and shifted my perspective.
Thirdly, I know many clients, friends and colleague are discovering they are neurodiverse (there is a high estimated number of undiagnosed adults still) and have received late diagnosis of ADHD and Autism. Thankfully there is now an increased awareness around the subject, which is providing answers and realisations they have been looking for too. If you are highly sensitive, there can be a crossover with neurodiversity worth reading up on potentially.
Lastly, but no means least! Learning I am highly sensitive was a really important realisation for me. Elaine Arons book on The Highly Sensitive Person was my introduction to the area once I heard about the term and her research was informative. I found The Empaths Survival Guide by Judith Orloff incredibly helpful and affirming too. Great books if you want to dive in deeper to find out more about being highly sensitive.
My personal path of discovery is far from complete as my curiosity and thirst for knowledge drives me forward and ever deeper! But I hope my reflection on key books and theoretical areas of exploration may inspire you or help you on your own personal journey of insight and healing.
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