Three reasons why ‘average’ teenage years can trigger chronic anxiety, depression and overwhelm

Most of us, or those I have encountered ie, clients, friends and acquaintances, found their teenage years tough going. There are of course exceptions to this but they tend to be more rare. Commonly however, teenage experiences and struggles may have left us feeling; isolated, lonely, unhappy, trapped, depressed, overwhelmed or stressed to some degree.

Why? Well it can be an incredibly difficult period of life for most of us, and we can bear the emotional scars long after it has passed - if we don’t work on releasing those experiences. I would go as far to say that the emotionally traumatic experiences we go through during our earlier years means that by the time we are teenagers this is when chronic overwhelm, anxiety and depression symptoms can start to arise. 

Let's explore the reasons why this is… 

1. Transforming yet, stuck

As we hit our teenage years we are transitioning from child and transforming into an adult, physically, mentally and emotionally. Our awareness and consciousness develops; we are making sense of the world, questioning, forming our own views, growing our sense of self and becoming more independent. 

But during this time of growth, we experience a difficult clash, as we are also stuck; we have greater understanding but lack true autonomy, power and control.  We are stuck:-

• at home, subject to a guardians rules and moods

•  within a school system, which we may not enjoy

• with peers we might not like

•  with more pressure, responsibility and expectations 

•  in situations not of our choosing or with a lack of choice 

•  with hormonal and physical changes, and intense emotions 

It can feel like running into a brick wall everyday if you are unhappy and stuck, which is just exhausting. Stuck with a lack of choice, subject to our environment and for many, this can go on as young adult and beyond. 

The repetition of unhappy circumstances and this enduring ‘stuck’ feeling, can become ingrained, becoming a subconscious belief into adulthood even once we escape the situation and we can end up thinking:-

• ‘There’s nothing I can do’

• ‘Everything's shit’

• ‘No one likes me’

• ‘There’s no point in trying’

• ‘I hate being here, etc’

The memory of the experience in the subconscious colours our perception and experience of our present, as we see through those eyes. We carry the depression, the fear, the stress and the frustration into the new situations we find ourselves in - until you release it. 

2. Overwhelmed by emotionally challenging situations

Commonplace life experiences can trigger surprisingly strong emotional and physical stress responses. Any experience, that to you, felt emotionally overwhelming, shocking or traumatic; when you felt stuck, under threat / unsafe, alone and helpless can trigger strong stress responses, common experiences such as:-

• Witnessing parents arguing and fighting

• Dealing with an emotionally abusive, unpredictable or threatening family member

• Feeling bullied and threatened at school or home

• Stress from high pressure at school and exam pressure 

• Experiencing the death of a loved one

• Having seriously ill parent or being a carer for them

• Fear of coming out as LBGT to your family or peers

• Experiencing sexual abuse or assault

Such life events and our emotions can feel overwhelming, triggering feelings of - terror, panic, shock, rage, despair, helplessness and hopelessness. It can then be a natural response to shut down to cope, or disassociate from our strong feelings as it's too much - so we can deal with the emotions and integrate them at a time when we feel safe or ready. 

However if the feelings are left unprocessed in the subconscious mind, this can develop into more chronic states of overwhelm, anxiety and depression as well as physical pain and symptoms can then arise. But this is where Tapping to release the past will free you in the present. 

It is particularly difficult I would say as a young person who is going through many things for the first time - without perhaps a frame of reference or understanding of what is happening to us emotionally. We can feel lost trying to cope, stuck dealing with something that is way beyond our reasonable capacity. 

Also life now is incredibly fast-paced and high-input - be that school, media, social media, travel etc; which naturally creates more stress, particularly for individuals who are neurodiverse, have a learning difficulty, are introverted and / or highly sensitive or are in challenging home-life situations. This can all feed into the states of overwhelm. 

3. Lack of connection and support 

When we feel alone in our experiences, this can compound the feelings of anxiety, depression and overwhelm. If we feel:-

• Unheard

• Unloved

• Unseen 

• Unsupported 

Home and school can feel like lonely places. For many of us home might be a difficult place to live, even if our guardian/s are trying their best, let alone if they are at their worst. As much as our guardians (hopefully) love us -  they are usually part of the problem right? We may seek refuge in friendships at school only to find we are all just trying to survive, or actually we don’t have friends yet, because we lack any meaningful connection or understanding with our classmates, because we haven’t found our tribe yet.

So we might end up holding all this unprocessed emotion inside ourselves, trying to understand it, trying to hold it all together whilst getting on with life. This is when symptoms of our emotional distress may start to emerge which beyond anxiety and depression could manifest as; eating disorders, self harm, heightened social anxiety, panic attacks, migraines, addictions, OCD and more.

So what do we do? Well, ask for support, and try to get help if we can. 

We all need connection, love, understanding, guidance and support, to stay healthy in mind and body and also to grow and develop. That is natural, particularly if we are struggling. We are not meant to figure it all out on our own, that's why we have mentors, friends, therapists, teachers, to guide, help and support us, that’s why they exist. They will have their own support system, mentors etc as we all need them to be able to cope.

I know asking for help or accepting support isn’t easy for some of us, especially if we struggle to trust or we feel unheard. We may feel terrified to open up, afraid to go there and feel like we are weak or failing as we need help. I know because that’s how I felt and asking for help was one of the hardest things I had to do. 

But when we bottle everything inside ourselves, we are unable to heal and move on. If we can reach out, try to trust, moving through the shame of our imperfections and perceived weakness then we can start to hear the unheard within, listen to our truth and as we Tap release the emotional hurt to be able to move on in a very real way. 

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