Seeking Your Soul Purpose: Overcoming Fear, Doubt & Inner Struggles
“I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing that I wanted to do”
If you’re anything like me, you might hold onto the fantasy that many great and noble historical figures—activists, artists, public figures, religious leaders, entrepreneurs—followed their life’s mission with unwavering purpose. That they acted with confidence, handled pressure with ease, and somehow just knew what to do, striding through challenges like a steadfast, unshaken force. That they were unmarred by self-doubt, questioning, or fear… or is that just me?
In reality, this assumption is both unrealistic and damaging—it undermines our own efforts and experiences. While some may have possessed unshakable certainty (or, in the case of certain morally dubious entrepreneurs, a grandiose lack of empathy masked as confidence!), history tells a different story. Many wrestled with doubt and fear, finding the strength to persevere despite their struggles.
Take Martin Luther King Jr., for example. He grappled with doubt—particularly about his faith and the effectiveness of his activism. At times, he questioned religious doctrines and his own abilities, especially in the face of violence and uncertainty. Yet he found strength in his commitment to service and in his belief in the power of nonviolent resistance.
So, the real question is: how do we navigate fear, self-doubt, self-criticism, feelings of failure, relentless self-questioning, and comparison when seeking our soul’s purpose—so we stay on track? That’s exactly what I want to explore in this blog.
Self-doubt
“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will”
While on retreat recently, I was channel writing—like you do—and the message that came through repeatedly, out of nowhere, was "Believe in yourself."
I immediately thought, Hang on, my sister just said to me recently, “I wish I could have a teaspoon of your self-confidence.” What are you on about? Rude!—as my six-year-old likes to say.
But it got me thinking… Do I not believe in myself on some level?
Almost immediately, I had an image of myself sitting at my desk, trying to write my next course, with the words “I can’t do this” looping in my mind. And then I thought—ah… I see.
For me, my higher self can sometimes feel like a bossy older sister (not that I’ve had one—rather, I am one) or even a commanding general, while my conscious self scrambles behind, being dragged along, trying to catch up with the vision emotionally. Often, they do not align. (See Navigating divided self: transformation, consciousness and higher self for more on this.)
The Biggest Obstacle? Ourselves.
When it comes to following our soul’s purpose, what we are really learning to do is listen to our higher self and live from that perspective through our intuition. If we let doubt lead, we won’t move—let alone take the bold risks needed to follow our calling.
The truth is, you’ll always deal with doubt on some level, because uncertainty is a constant. Even when you know you’re on the right path, deep in your bones, there will always be smaller questions or decisions to navigate: Should I do this now? Have I approached this the right way? Should I ask for help? When is the right time to discuss this? And so on. Doubt isn’t just about if you’re on the right path—it’s about the little choices along the way, too.
What to Do
Do It Anyway
"Feel the fear and do it anyway."
The voice of doubt or fear isn’t going to stop me from taking the action I know is right—saying the thing, even if it’s hard; taking the risk, even though it seems mad and scary.
The difference is, I acknowledge it, and—because growth is meant to be uncomfortable—I get some support to work on the emotional, mental, and subconscious triggers with energy healing. I do it anyway.
I have a friend who battles a fierce inner critic—particularly in her writing. Recently, she told me, “Now, when I hear that voice, I acknowledge it. I say, ‘I know it’s hard. I know it’s difficult. But we’re going to do it anyway.’”
So do it anyway. Get support, get mentoring, have a hug—don’t let doubt lead to regret.
Remember & Reframe
Whenever I hear the “I can’t do this!” voice pop in, I try to recall a time I felt that way before.
When I wrote my first blog, it took ages to complete. The fear of putting it out into the world sat heavy in my chest. Now? It’s just normal—natural, even—and a routine part of my life.
So when I take on something new—like writing and delivering courses—I remind myself: there’s a learning curve. I will get triggered on some level. I will need time to settle into the process. But, just like before, it will even out.
I trust, because I have proof.
"I can do this. I don’t know how yet—but I will find a way."
Self Questioning
When waking up to our soul’s purpose, it’s natural to wonder if we’ve had it all wrong up until now:
Should I never have worked in that sector or studied that subject?
Could I have left that relationship and moved on sooner?
Would I have figured this out earlier if I had been more aware or honest?
Did I get everything wrong?
I know these thoughts well—I’ve wrestled with them myself. For much of my twenties, it felt like I was pushing water uphill, trying to get my career moving. Yet, through it all, I continuously asked the universe, What is my purpose?—only to get silence in response, or worse: “Oh, just have fun! Explore!”
Then, in my late thirties, everything shifted. I remember thinking, Maybe I should do something with healing intention groups. Immediately, I felt an unmistakable No! That’s not your purpose.
That moment taught me the value of timing. I needed more life experience under my belt. There was so much to learn about myself, training to complete, mastery to develop, and healing work to endure (!). These things take time—you will be no different.
What to do
Think Back
When self-questioning arises, I make it a point to get real—I reflect on the person I was back when I thought I could have done things quicker.
Every time, I see the same truth: it wasn’t possible. I was absorbing and processing the ideas I was capable of handling at the time. Or I was managing life in survival mode, navigating trauma symptoms. Or I was simply trying to make the best of the opportunities available to me while feeling lost.
It’s easy to forget how hard things actually were when we’re in a different place now. So be honest with yourself. Be kind to yourself.
Always Look for the Lessons
One of the biggest differences my husband has noticed between us is my ability to reframe experiences. I constantly seek the lessons that help me grow and highlight my areas for improvement.
I encourage you to do the same.
Ask yourself:
What did that failure teach you?
How have you changed or grown from it?
What inner challenge did that relationship or work situation reveal—was it a struggle with boundaries, perhaps?
Remember, you’re in the school of life—everything is a teacher.
Decision-Making with Intuitive Intelligence
One of the biggest reasons I trained my intuition was to support my decision-making—both big and small—because often, it felt crippling.
I needed to get out of my head and start listening to my body.
Once I began using this approach more consciously, self-questioning dropped away—because I finally felt able to trust myself.
(See Why you lack confidence in your intuitive voice and how to grow it for deeper insights)
‘I’m a failure’ - Self-criticism
“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”
When trying to discover our soul’s purpose, it’s easy to slip into feelings of failure. This is when self-questioning turns into frustration directed inward.
I’ve failed because my career is changing—so I must have got it all wrong from the start!
Why didn’t I heal faster?
Why didn’t I leave that job, relationship, or house sooner?
But I didn’t… but I could have… but I should have… But, but, but, but, but…
For years, I was ruthless with myself whenever I got something wrong—even slightly. It’s painful to even think about now. The truth is, self-criticism leads nowhere except into sickness, anger, or depression.
During my IET training, Sue Beer and Emma Roberts at the EFT Centre introduced a radical thought: “Everyone is doing the best they can at any given moment.”
At the time, I thought, Rubbish—I could have done more! And they should certainly know better! But over time, this became one of the most powerful and supportive perspectives I could hold.
Because it’s true—we don’t “know better” because we are learning. Some people may seem to figure things out sooner, but they might simply be older souls or have vastly different life conditions. We are all evolving, just like children develop through stages—first crawling, then walking, then running. Our spiritual growth follows the same pattern.
The Reality of Growth
So, no—you could not have reached your purpose faster, no matter how much you wish you had. Even if you feel like you’ve been “procrastinating your life away,” there is always a reason and a lesson unfolding beneath the surface.
Yes, maybe you could have listened to the signs of burnout earlier and left sooner—but the truth is, you didn’t know betterat the time. Now, you do.
One of the most common patterns I see with clients is the need to become the person you need to be to fully step into your soul mission. And this takes time.
Transformation requires:
Inner healing work.
Gradual shifts in identity.
Energy, willingness, and focus.
It’s an uncomfortable journey—not everyone is up for it! But the rewards? Feeling at home in your own skin and knowing you are living your true calling. And that is always worth it.
What to do
Accept Failure as Part of Success
Trial and error are essential for growth. Failure is a natural part of learning. You cannot expect to get things right the first time, every time—it’s a myth!
Successful entrepreneurs expect failure and use it to propel themselves forward. The same applies to personal and spiritual growth.
Live Authentically
Listening to my heart and intuition has always helped me navigate self-criticism. When I align with my truth, I don’t feel like a failure—even if things don’t work out perfectly.
Because success, to me, is living authentically. I know that by staying true to myself, I am always moving in the right direction.
Comparison
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
I know someone who has what you might call comparison-itus—a kind of self-imposed torture. They search for people they’ve vaguely known, just to measure their own success against them. And every time they do, it’s like watching a living demonstration of that quote.
When it comes to following your soul’s purpose, self-comparison is pointless. If you’re creating a new life script—stepping off the traditional paths—it can feel natural to glance over at what others are doing on the “normal” route and compare.
There will always be someone younger who has seemingly achieved more on paper. Someone who has healed faster. Someone who looks like they’ve got it all together. The underlying thought creeps in: I should be further along. I should have figured this out by now. Am I getting life all wrong?
But here’s the truth: One of the most common deathbed regrets is not living a life true to oneself.
To honour your soul’s calling requires risk. That might come more naturally to the non-conformists among us—I remember my mum saying to me once, "Nicole, you don’t follow the crowd." At the time, I thought, Why would anyone want to?
Not all of us are wired like that. But whether it comes easily or not, listening to our soul’s voice demands that we stay uncompromisingly true to ourselves—even when that means taking a different direction, even when it means standing alone.
Honouring your needs, thoughts, and beliefs helps you realise your calling, regardless of what everyone else is doing.
You have to have the courage to be yourself. You have to dare to do things differently.
What to do
Daring to Do
Start with small dares. Challenge yourself to try new things, put yourself out there in a different way, step outside the familiar.
A little peer pressure can help!
I dared myself to ask someone on a date—and now I’m married to him.
I’ve been daring my six-year-old daughter to go ask for water at the café counter—helping her take a new risk, put herself out there, find her voice, and realise that asking for what she wants isn’t scary.
The result? A huge smile, a glass of water, and growing confidence.
Throwing Caution to the Wind
Of all the mantras I could offer you, “F** it”* might just be the most effective—and I will happily lend it to you!
As part of my no deathbed regrets campaign, I learned to say: "F** it—let’s do it."*
That mindset helps me take the leap—whether it’s making a cheeky request to a service provider, saying yes to a terrifying podcast opportunity, or striking up a conversation with a stranger at the bus stop.
When I reach that edge—the moment where I could back away or jump—I tell myself: "F** it—let’s try."*
Letting go and taking small risks builds the muscle to take bigger ones.
Consistency
Whether it’s carving out your own path, addressing wounds through healing, or developing new habits, the key is consistency.
Over time, consistency allows you to look back and see the progress. That’s how success happens—not overnight, but through sustained effort.
The only true comparison you should ever make? Comparing yourself to the person you used to be.
Further reading
The personal transformation and letting go required to discover your soul mission
Six roadblocks to you discovering your calling as a highly sensitive person
Further info
For those looking to deepen their journey:
Training: Soul Mission Course and Intuitive Training
