How to cope in the world as a Highly Sensitive Person
Being a highly sensitive person (HSP) in today’s fast-paced and often overwhelming world can be challenging. Over the years, I've learnt that it's crucial to establish boundaries, understand my needs, and create a supportive environment. Here’s how I manage to navigate the world as an HSP.
Needs and Boundaries
Healthy boundaries for many highly sensitive people can be our cryptonite. I know it has been a steep learning curve for me! Our time in terms of our energy is very precious and a limited resource.
I remember after my daughter was born, that I realised I was a role model for her on boundaries. This was a real kick up the butt to take action on relationships I had found intolerable for years. It helped me to be honest as I wanted to demonstrate my values and walk my talk for her, even when that felt uncomfortable or conflictual.
We can each experience this for ourselves in some capacity and this may be through different means - as a mentor, teacher or role model.. ‘If you want to learn, teach’ as they say. We have to be clear to demonstrate and explain.
Therefore, one way I have looked after myself as a HSP is to be selective about who I spend my time with and begin to filter the negative influences - large or small.
Ensure you are clear about how you want to be treated - with love, respect and kindness hopefully. I steer clear of negative people and influences that can drain my energy and overwhelm my senses. Life is short - we have to think about how we want to spend it and with whom.
In interviews Gabor Maté suggests that the reason 80% more women suffer more with autoimmune disorders is due to self suppression of our healthy anger. Therefore not asserting, your boundaries may even be affecting your health.
Read more on boundaries:
10 signs you struggle setting boundaries as a highly sensitive person
Lessons, I learned as a highly sensitive person from friends with badass boundaries
Rest, Digestion, and Decompression
Taking time to rest and decompress is vital as a HSP. We are deeply affected by the world - we can be incredibly moved by world events, one conversation might stay with us for weeks or even years (!), we have strong somatic empathy and feel the feelings of people around us strongly too.
We can need time to emotionally and mentally ‘digest’ our experiences - more than others. I remember family members being shocked at the level, I would reflect on things that they hadn't given a second thought to. It’s therefore important to acknowledge that depth of feeling and thinking requires time and energy. It's not a failing, far from it, however we just need to look after ourselves. I find the following tools help me:-
Need to decompress: I make sure I have time, space, and energy reserved solely for ‘decompressing’ in some form - solo time for example or a retreat. No extras in the diary means I don't overbook myself. Or as a parent, I swap responsibilities with my partner to ensure we both get the necessary breaks to recharge our energy.
Know what you need: plan ‘release and ground sessions’ a spa day, therapy, walk in nature, lay in the dark (!) - when I have a busy period, I plan rest or space in too.
Self regulation exercises such as breathwork: Incorporating breathwork into my routine helps me stay grounded and calm amidst the chaos. Personally I love my moonbird for this.
I make time to absorb and process the emotional work that comes up - whether through journaling or meditative practices, or self healing. I move between different methods to suit my needs - I am never doing all of these things at once!
Regular healing sessions: I schedule regular healing sessions using techniques like Bodycode, Theta Healing, and EFT to release emotional blockages. I really think as a HSP this is a regular must to be able to stay in the world frankly.
Know Your Key Needs
As a highly sensitive person, keeping on top of our basic needs can be important. It's not unusual for a highly sensitive person to have sleep sensitivities, food sensitivities, sounds sensitivities and so on. Sometimes it can take us a few years to know exactly what helps us and what we need in terms of our routine to maintain our health or at least a healthy enough balance.
Recognizing and catering to my key needs is essential:
Food: I pay attention to my diet because I need too. I’m far from a saint, but I try to avoid the foods my body rejects because I just make my life hard otherwise. I also listen intuitively to know what supplements etc would be helpful to support my body.
Light and Sound: I am very sensitive to light and sound. I can get headaches easily if its too bright - so you’ll always see me in a hat in summer! As for sound, I work from home solo as I just can’t concentrate with people talking in an office. I changed my whole work life to suit my sensitivities! Ask yourself - what do you need?
Quiet time. Personally I need a large dose of alone time before I start my day. So I get up early at 5am to have 2 hrs alone time before anyone rises! I get really grumpy otherwise. It is also when I do my morning practices or they just don’t happen.
Guard the Senses: I avoid horror films completely - I just can’t handle the violence, I am careful about what I watch to a degree as I find it really affects me. I really limit my exposure to negative news. I can just spin into a negative mental space and it's distressing - as well as not being helpful to anyone. This helps reduce the emotional drain. In fact I got so sick of it I started buying Positive News and I listen to the positive news podcast.
Being a highly sensitive person comes with its unique set of challenges, but with the right strategies, it’s possible to thrive. By setting boundaries, understanding my needs, and incorporating regular rest and healing practices, we can navigate the world with greater ease and joy.
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