How Narcissistic Parents Damage Your Intuition
Perfectionism. Indecision. Overthinking.
This is what trauma taught me.
The Day Her Intuition Took Over
I want to share a story about someone close to me who is finally listening to the voice of her intuition.
It came suddenly—a bodily hard NO that surprised even her. Out of nowhere, she kicked her boyfriend of three years out of her flat.
What am I doing? Have I made a mistake?
Those thoughts plagued her for two years. Did I do the right thing? I thought he was it. What have I done?
She couldn't let go of him or shake that creeping, familiar doubt. As the daughter of a narcissist, these feelings were all too common: Confused. Guilty. Lacking self-confidence. Unheard.
So not long ago, after those two years apart, she got back in touch with him—he still wanted to be together. Only this time, those narcissistic traits were impossible to ignore. The gaslighting. The blame. The fog. The confusion, self-doubt, and rage.
Why was it suddenly so clear? Because she'd been spending time with a man who made her feel safe to express her feelings, who validated them and valued her. Her nervous system finally knew what safety looked like. She learned that feeling loved didn't need to be paired with fear.
The doubt is still there, but the knowing and clarity are much louder now. The NO is clear. The ability to see can't be undone. Her intuition finally spoke louder than her mind—louder than the voice that had been overriding what she already knew deep down: this wasn't right. This wasn't the place to be.
Have You Ever Had That?
Reached a limit unknowingly, crossed a line where your intuition stepped in and called the shots? I know I have. The internal axe falls and you just HAVE to change.
Where It All Started
Maybe you had a manipulative, emotionally immature, or even abusive caregiver. Someone who taught you—either overtly or subtly—that it wasn't safe to feel, to express yourself, or to trust your own truth.
What You Learned: Survival Mode
So you learned to be good. To keep the peace. To manage everyone else's emotions.
You became so skilled at rationalising, at soothing, at pushing your intuitive feelings down... that you lost touch with what you actually knew intuitively.
You started overthinking everything—worried about making a mistake, about someone getting angry, about getting it wrong. You stayed in your head, where it felt safer. Cleaner. More controllable.
The Cost
Now, as an adult, you doubt what you intuitively know—whether you're reading people or making decisions. You second-guess your instincts, unsure if what you're feeling is fear or intuition. You want to trust yourself, but it feels risky, uncomfortable, almost impossible.
You might be highly sensitive to the people and energy around you—picking up subtleties others completely miss. And that's confusing, especially when no one else seems to notice what you sense so vividly.
Does This Sound Familiar?
If you had an emotionally immature, narcissistic, unpredictable or emotionally abusive caregiver, this may be all too familiar:
You don't know how you feel
You try to think your way out of situations instead of trusting your gut
You're always justifying, always trying to be understanding (even when someone's clearly hurting you)
You focus on the "good and pleasant" feelings rather than hearing the rising anger
You deny anything is wrong—not only to others, but to yourself too
You second-guess your instincts constantly
You were told you're "too sensitive" your whole life, so now you doubt yourself and assume you're to blame
Here's What I Want You to Know
If this resonates, you're not broken. You're not "too much" or "too sensitive."
You were taught not to trust yourself. And that's something you can unlearn.
Learning to trust your intuitive sense, to hear it, feel it, validate it, and act on it can become the most liberating and healthy act of self-love you can do. But here's the scary thing: it can take radical honesty and challenging leaps if we haven't been listening for a while.
The path back to your intuition is real, and it's possible. It starts with recognising where this pattern came from—not to stay stuck in the past, but to understand why trusting yourself feels so terrifying now.
Your intuition didn't disappear. It's been there all along, waiting for you to feel safe enough to listen again.
Ready to understand and strengthen your intuitive gifts? My Intuitive Development Course shows you how to trust and develop your inner knowing Intuitive Development Course.
