How to Be the Opposite of a Perfectionist: An Intuitive Approach to Life
“There is no perfection, only beautiful versions of brokenness”
Perfectionism whispers seductive lies: that control equals safety, that flawless execution prevents pain, that thinking harder will reveal the "right" answer. But after years of living imprisoned by impossibly high standards, I discovered something revolutionary—my intuition was the key to freedom.
If you're exhausted by the relentless inner critic, paralyzed by decision-making anxiety, or disconnected from your authentic self, an intuitive approach to life might be exactly what you need. It certainly was for me.
The Overthinking Trap
“Perfectionism is not as much the desire for excellence, as it is the fear of failure couched in procrastination.”
As a recovering perfectionist, my journey with intuition began with a simple restaurant menu. Even choosing a dish triggered panic-fueled indecision: What if I choose wrong? What if I'm disappointed? Should I be adventurous or stick with my favorite? The internal dialogue was exhausting, and I was completely disconnected from what my body actually wanted.
This disconnection is no accident. Perfectionism creates a relentless need for "proof" and logical justification, while intuition operates on feeling and subtle knowing without concrete evidence. We've trained ourselves to distrust our first instincts in favor of "more thinking."
I decided to experiment using that dreaded menu. I gave myself two minutes to make an intuitive decision—quickly scanning options and noticing which dishes caught my attention without overthinking. I'd choose between them and put the menu down immediately. This simple practice with low-stakes decisions gradually built my trust in intuitive judgment.
This approach transforms how we handle bigger decisions:
Career choices: Listening to what job "feels right" instead of drowning in endless pros-and-cons lists
Creative projects: Following flow and curiosity instead of killing original ideas with premature judgment
Daily decisions: Trusting what sounds appealing instead of researching the "best" option for twenty minutes
Building Your Intuitive Muscle
An intuitive approach requires learning to trust your instincts and feelings, which might take you down a rabbit hole of healing if you're a survivor of trauma or narcissistic abuse. Start small and build up to bigger decisions. Remember, this requires practice, and "failure" is part of learning. Don't expect to get it perfect every time (the irony isn't lost on me).
Give yourself permission to play with listening to your intuition and trusting your gut. You might discover, as I did, that it saves enormous amounts of time and energy. Far less decision paralysis, fewer headaches, and eventually, you might come to love making intuitive decision-making a way of life.
Further reading
How narcissistic abuse damages your intuition—and how to rebuild it
What does it mean to live in intuitive flow?
Facing the Fear of "Getting It Wrong"
“Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. It’s a shield”
The perfectionist mind demands certainty before acting. But what if I get it wrong? What if I make the wrong decision? These questions reveal deeper wounds worth exploring:
Why are you so afraid of making mistakes?
What would actually happen if you made a mistake?
Who did you need to be perfect for, and why?
Is this trait inherited? If so, from whom?
For most of us, perfectionism traces back to childhood experiences (unless it's ancestral or we brought the tendency with us as souls from previous lives). Working with these wounds through healing or therapeutic support helps us drop the fear behind perfectionist self-talk ("What if I'm wrong?"), which creates noise that masks intuitive signals.
Many perfectionists struggle to seek support because perfect people don't need help, right? The truth is, you're human, not a robot. It's okay not to know all the answers, okay to need support and healing. You don't need to bottle everything up and hide in anxious, twisted paralysis.
Living intuitively requires opening up to your real experience—your actual feelings and thoughts, not pretending or hiding. This openness requires trust: trust in yourself to find a way imperfectly, trust in others' support, and trust that the universe has your back. You have to trust that not knowing the answer right now is okay.
This develops genuine self-confidence as you trust your instincts to guide you and believe you'll find solutions through intuitive hits rather than overthinking.
Intuitive Stepping Stones
Instead of the exhausting cycle of second-guessing every gut reaction—missing opportunities while waiting for perfect clarity, chronic indecision and analysis paralysis, living a life filled with self-doubt and regret—you begin to reframe and see how "failures" are great teachers. You see the lessons you've learned, the growth you've earned. You understand that you'll never be given the whole picture for your next steps, just the next intuitive stepping stone to leap onto. When you lower your guard against perfectionism, you can relax and acknowledge your weaknesses as well as truly own your strengths, leaning into them. This is when your gifts can come online, when you can start to be an intuitive channel in the world in your own unique way—as your authentic, beautiful, imperfect, gifted self.
Further reading
What is Channelling? How Tapping into Higher Wisdom Can Elevate Your Spiritual Business
Receiving Intuitive Information but Not Taking Action: The Solution
Break free from external validation
“Perfectionism doesn’t make you feel perfect. It makes you feel inadequate”
Perfectionism is rooted in external validation, while intuition is an inherently internal guidance system. Our perfectionism grows from fear and the desire for approval. We worry about appearances and others' opinions, but intuitive flow is ambiguous and less linear—it seems messier.
This can leave us in situations that feel off because they look good on paper, living with physical symptoms like tension and anxiety while ignoring our body's wisdom.
Listening to intuition requires quieting the mind and tuning into our inner voice. We must learn to trust that silent voice within us, which may guide us in the opposite direction from external advice. This requires courage and faith, which grow through practice and gradually increase self-confidence.
Instead of jumping to conclusions or seeking others' advice, turn inward to listen to your intuition, which speaks through your body. Growing more comfortable with feeling rather than thinking helps, as perfectionist overthinking blocks our inner voice, which often registers first through the body's knowing.
What helps with this:
Body awareness exercises to reconnect with physical intuition
Reconnecting with personal passions and values to rediscover your authentic self
Being willing to let your intuition cut to the truth: Do you trust someone or not? Do you want something or not? Is this the right direction for you?
The "Good Enough" Revolution
One way to gently release perfectionism's grip and open the door to intuition is practising "good enough" decisions to rebuild trust in quick, intuitive judgments led by feeling rather than knowing.
"Good enough" became my mantra in my twenties to overcome the crippling worry and fear of judgment around my work. Gradually, releasing the pressure to be perfect and realising that being "okay" was more than enough meant I had more energy for things that actually mattered, rather than stressing about irrelevant details.
This approach felt realistically grounded and gave me more flexibility with deadlines and expectations. With less worry, it became easier to find intuitive solutions to problems by returning to my body rather than overthinking everything. It was simple, gradual, but powerful—and I still say it to myself today when making decisions.
Your Intuitive Invitation
Your intuition is your greatest ally for finding your soul purpose, creating deep and meaningful connections, and living an authentic life that expresses your gifts and passions. However, we must be willing to drop the perfectionist guard, get honest with ourselves and others, seek support when needed, and start living from intuitive feeling and direction, not logic alone.
When you lower your guard against perfectionism, you can relax and acknowledge your weaknesses while truly owning your strengths. This is when your gifts come online, when you can start being an intuitive channel in the world in your own unique way. Perfectionism promises safety but delivers a prison. Your intuition offers something far more valuable - the freedom to be beautifully, imperfectly, authentically you.
Further reading
Six reasons your intuition is your most valuable life tool
Why you lack confidence in your intuitive voice and how to grow it
Nicole Drummond, Intuitive Coach and Healing Channel. Offering one-to-one sessions for Soulful Solopreneurs, Intuitive Development Training and mentoring Courses for Souls with a Mission as well as free workshops and free resources. Watch more Youtube channel
