Six Reasons you’re struggling to make intuitive life decisions
“I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim and silence, and the truth comes to me.”
If you're someone who's wishing to open up to their intuitive awareness, but you're struggling, here are some of the reasons that might be preventing you from sensing your intuitive answers to help you find direction.
Fear of change
One of the reasons people turn to their intuition is to figure out their direction i.e. should I pursue this relationship, go for this job, bid for this house etc. But the issue with this is, we can already have a fixed view of what we want and we're not necessarily open to a different answer which is perhaps actually what we need. We may also have a very fixed timescale in our mind as to when we want things to come about, and if it doesn't, then we feel it's not been a success or we are failing. Our conscious mind and smaller ‘fixed sense of self’ is trying to be in control - how can I get what I want? It can be fearful of receiving answers it doesn't want and desires to control the outcome.
We can fear change, when we have this fear, ironically it can be because we know that change is what is needed. But to channel your intuitive knowledge is like stepping into a river, you don't get to control the river, you need to stay open to the flow. But it's gonna take you to where you need to go. That letting go of the logical into the intuitive, can feel unnerving to begin with if you are someone who likes to be in control, so it takes trust. The more we do it and have healthy outcomes the more we trust to lean into our intuitive knowledge - even if the answer creates upheaval or difficulty in the short term, we can know that it will take us into more expansive awareness or deeper in relationships or create a more satisfying career on a soul level etc in the long term.
Emotional states derailing us
It can be very hard to hear the subtle nudges of our intuition, if we are emotionally full. If every time we attempt to quieten our mind and to listen to our intuitive responses - we are met with loud layers of unprocessed emotional turmoil from the past that makes it hard to receive information. This can present us with work to do, I know because I've gone through this process myself. The work can be ongoing, on more and more subtle levels - as we ‘clean house’ to enable us to gain clarity as to what we can sense (not confusing it with the past).
That said, even in very emotionally strong states, we can find our intuition is shouting at us loudly - those gut feelings that are impossible to ignore, strong messages in dreams that haunt us, different loved ones repeatedly saying the same message to us in a moment of need. We do not need to be robots that never feel! But the more internal spaciousness we gain, the more grounded and resilient we can feel when life stresses in the present arise, and it's easier to hear our intuition to know how to respond. Make sense?
Being ‘logical’
We live in a left brain society in the modern world. Our schooling is often memorising facts and learning statistics, parrot fashion. Logic has been prioritised and revered - the head (conscious mind) rules. We can fear stepping out of this known. Since Descartes separated mind and matter into to separate realms and Newtonian principles became the foundation of science we have moved into a ‘rational’ era. What is intuited was seen as illogical or hokum, as it could not be measured. Luckily, for us, quantum physics is proving that the impact of the mind and consciousness on matter is measurable.
“Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination in circles the world”
When I read quotes by Einstein, what I hear is the words of a deeply intuitive man. He was a channel for scientific knowledge. He opened himself to intuitive, knowing through silence, and allowed it through him. What is wonderful about this is we will have this capacity - which he encourages us to use. To be in touch with our intuitive knowing and to live more intuitively we have to be willing to let go of what we ‘think we know’ on a conscious level and open to natural alpha states, the realm of the subconscious to access a river of knowledge.
Negative influence of others
Trusting our intuitive knowledge, and following this through in our lives can bring us face-to-face with the opinions of others! Especially if our decision-making goes against the social norm or seems risky or ‘out of character’. This is because of course loved ones worry about us, they want us to be safe and known is safe. If we are following an intuitive feeling rather than an explicit conscious plan that we can explain, can seem illogical in our left brain world. But also, let's be honest, most people don't like change and that includes you changing!
If you are a highly sensitive person, then the likelihood is that the opinions of others does impact you. You may even have some people pleasing tendencies you're trying to work through so it might feel threatening to take a different approach to decision making as you could upset them. So this fear of being questioned or experiencing disapproval can dampen down that intuitive, nudge or voice, within to take a different path (unless you have a rebellious nature). This is where it can require us to have courage to lead from intuitive vision, rather than logical well trodden paths of others.
Lack of self confidence and trust
It's a common fear that if you trust your intuition, you might ‘get it wrong’. Let me be honest with you, you will get it wrong from time to time and you will make mistakes, but that is just part of the training. Is there anything you learn where you don't make mistakes? This is why it's important to use your intuition as an everyday tool, to live intuitively and not just try to apply it to massive life decisions - then expect yourself to know the answer! You need to practice with the stabilisers on, we all do. If we can start to reframe mistakes as learning opportunities, we will build our sense of resilience as well. We are in the ‘school of life’ after all, we are here to learn.
For some, however, this fear can present as a lack of trusting yourself period. Your feelings may feel unsafe to trust or you may not know your own feelings, let alone trust them. On some level, you don't know yourself well enough. This can be because you have lived in an environment where your intuitive knowing or feelings were undermined or denied leading you to not trust yourself or your own sense of reality (!). Feelings may also have felt too big and intense, and to be safe, you didn't want to feel them. If this sounds like you, part of your journey will be to feed the trust in yourself, your feelings and your intuitive knowing.
Training, trust and practice
One of the simple reasons is that you are struggling to make intuitive life decisions, as I mentioned above it is a lack of training and practice. Now I'm not suggesting you need to do a university degree to learn to listen to your intuition, - but you do need to develop this skill; and trust it and act on it. Developing your self-awareness is a foundational start, through whatever method you choose, be that qi-gong, meditation, doing holistic training etc. Then doing the healing work required to create internal space to support your ability to listen to your intuitive voice is also invaluable. Then learning intuitive techniques.
Laura Stupple says “Alongside creativity, risk-taking and resilience, intuition is a key trait all business leaders should lean into”.
I would argue it’s a key trait for us all to lean into - in fact our intuition is one of our most valuable life tools (see blog). If we can start to view our intuition as a skill to be nurtured (not a ‘personality trait’ or something that happens by chance occasionally) and to put time into its development thus aiming to live intuitively, then we will reap the benefits of hearing our intuitive voice more clearly, more regularly, with greater strength - leading to more fulfillment, connection, expansion, health and happiness.
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