How to Rebuild Trust in Your Intuition After Narcissistic Abuse
Raised by a narcissist? Here's how to rebuild your ability to trust myself.
If you grew up with a narcissistic, unpredictable, or emotionally abusive parent—someone who gaslit, blamed, shamed, or guilt-tripped you—they didn't just hurt you. They robbed you of something fundamental.
Your ability to trust your own instincts. Your willingness to voice (or even feel) your needs. Your connection to your body—where unprocessed trauma means a slammed door can trigger a panic attack. Your inner certainty—because self-doubt became your default when you were constantly told you were wrong.
Rebuilding Intuition Isn't What You Think
It's not about "thinking positive" or "just trusting yourself more." It's deeper than that, and it takes real work. Here's what it actually involves:
1. Get Trauma Support First
If you have active trauma symptoms, seek appropriate help. You can't rebuild intuition on a dysregulated nervous system. This is foundational, not optional.
2. Learn to Filter: Triggered vs. Intuitive
You need to know when you're being triggered by past wounds versus responding to a real, present-moment intuitive "no." Trauma therapy helps with this distinction, and it's crucial.
3. Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body
Create safe spaces to feel again—not just think. Your body holds wisdom your mind has been trained to override. This means slowing down, breathing, and actually noticing what's happening in your physical self.
4. Act on the Message Even Without All the Answers
Radical self-trust means following your gut before you can "prove" it's right. Start small. Listen to the quiet no about that coffee date. Honour the yes that lights you up, even if you can't explain why.
5. Trust Your Felt Sense Over Logic
Your intuition knows things your rational mind can't explain yet. Practice choosing intuition over the need to justify everything. This will feel uncomfortable at first—that's normal.
6. Put Your Needs First
Choose a healthy relationship with yourself first. This isn't selfish—it's survival. It's the oxygen mask principle: you can't show up for others if you're depleted and disconnected from your own truth.
7. Be Willing to Hear (and Say) the "No"
The hardest boundary is the one you set with yourself: "I will listen to my inner no, even when it's inconvenient." Even when someone might be disappointed. Even when you can't fully explain it.
The Truth About This Journey
This is a gradual process. It happens in layers, not overnight.
Surround yourself with a supportive tribe—friends and community who believe you, who don't gaslight your reality. People who make you feel safe enough to express your feelings, who validate them and value you.
I've walked this path myself. I watch my clients do it every day. And I know you can do it too—one brave, intuitive choice at a time.
Learning to trust your intuitive sense, to hear it, feel it, validate it, and act on it can become the most liberating and healthy act of self-love you can do. But here's the truth: it can take radical honesty and challenging leaps if we haven't been listening for a while.
The result? You begin to form healthy relationships—friendships and intimate ones—because you don't ignore the intuitive signals anymore. You trust you can read people below the surface. You become more authentic, taking braver leaps, expressing your gifts, talents, and interests. You feel more deeply connected to others, trusting what you're picking up emotionally in their experience, feeling confident to own what you're sensing and share it.
You trust yourself and your bullshit radar. Without question.
You start to become confidently, unapologetically you.
Ready to understand and strengthen your intuitive gifts? My Intuitive Development Course shows you how to trust and develop your inner knowing Intuitive Development Course.
