Aimée is a shining example of what can happen when we allow our sensitivity to lead (thereby becoming a strength) together with what can emerge when we start to develop our intuitive abilities and letting them flourish.  She has become a visionary artistic channel who is following her calling, you can find her work here: www.aimeehenderson.com.  Here’s what she had to say about her journey and opening up to her sensitivity and intuitive abilities.

When did you realise you were an artistic channel and what is the experience of being a doorway for channeling artwork like for you?

I remember standing in front of a still life I had painted when I was at college and feeling so elated with what I had produced, I couldn’t stop staring at my work and wondering where it had come from.  Art was something I came to in my mid twenties.  I think I had to live a little first, make a lot of mess in my life before deciding this was my path.  I dropped out of university (studying theology and religious studies) and chose a life of nightclubs and running a bar.  But I really didn’t know what to do so when I found I was good at painting I felt hugely energised and became very forward focused and driven. 

I have been painting for almost twenty years now but it is only in these past few months, doing the soul mission work with Nicole that I have found painting to be my true calling and purpose in life.  I had to peel away the layers of experience and heal in order to connect with that and the idea of being a channel.  Painting is a practice which is deeply reflective of how my mind works with each painting being a vehicle for my own inner transformation.  I can feel my mind expanding and stretching as I do the inner work and I am now beginning a new body of paintings which connect with source, feels limitless and will further expand my connection to the light/healing element in my work. This communication with source, being a conduit or doorway into another world helps me find harmony within.

What’s one of the biggest challenges you have experienced as a highly sensitive person and how do you work with this now (or do you still?)

The belief of never feeling good enough. I felt out of place through most of my youth, existing on the edges of social groups and wondering what’s wrong with me and why I didn’t fit in. I could see the whole and could sense and feel so much but I somehow never felt part of it. I didn’t feel like I belonged and it felt so crushing at times. I lived from a constant place of lack and low self worth. I felt crushed by the weight of insecurity.  This disconnect from self meant I had a strong need to be liked by others and I completely lost all sense of who I was.

Doing the healing work with Nicole, connecting with my soul’s purpose and practicing self love and acceptance has helped me move through this. I am learning to rest into myself, to drop into me more, to trust my gifts and have gratitude for all aspects of my life. I can now place my hands on my heart and fully love myself with openness and acceptance. This is such a simple act but it is so profound and one I could never have imagined possible a few years ago.  This practice continues the healing work within me and I now live from a place of connection and abundance with life.

What is one of the biggest gifts of your highly sensitive nature? 

Having a big heart.  I used to think being sensitive was a weakness, I would cry at so much but I would often hide it. Now I cry more freely and in front of people.  At my daughters end of term service l couldn’t stop the tears as one by one the older class stood up and shared what they had enjoyed most about the school.  The endeavour and the forward aspiration looking towards their future was so beautiful.  I am very touched by humanity and the human effort and the lives of everyone, their hopes and dreams. It’s very moving to me.

What are the challenges of being in the world - and being sensitive-artist-channel like for you? How do you dance with those tensions? 

I have found the role of being a mother to be both fulfilling and draining at the same time.  I have always loved the home, the domestic, taking great care in the fulfilment of everyday tasks - making arrangements of objects, filling jars with flowers, moving things around, preparing nourishing food, all of these simple pleasures would support me, and made me feel safe and grounded. But after the birth of our daughter I didn’t have the time or energy to perform these simple tasks with the same level of care. The everyday became quite mundane and I started to drown in the weight of keeping it all together. I think it was at this point that my anxiety and unease really started to increase and I stopped painting.  I saw no purpose in anything I did, it all felt so futile, so pointless. 

During this period I wrote to a friend of mine, the former art critic, Mel Gooding.

“doing what you do is a necessary exercise of your unique gift, which is not for the discursive but for the contemplative. By 'tapping into that deep well of joy' you release energies in the form of images, which are among those forms of sustenance most dearly required to keep us all properly human, that is, sentient, feeling, and vitally alive to what the world - in all its wounded sorrow - still offers our senses, our heart and our soul….. we need art to live. We cannot live without it.  Just think that when you sit down to work on your strange and beautiful paintings…..when you work, and feel so alive - is the surest sign that what you do as an artist is such important and necessary work. You must go on with it! (And you are so good at it! With what good fortune to be blessed!)”

Mel Gooding

I was hugely comforted by his words, so I picked up my brushes and started to paint again.

It has taken a long time, but I am beginning to put in boundaries to protect my practice. I have a studio at home and when the door is closed it means I’m working. I feel protected by this action, my time and studio become a sacred space for me to just be and to allow a deep level of engagement and concentration that I know is uninterrupted. It’s difficult to transition between painting and walking back through to the rest of the house and pick up where I left off so I’m learning to put practices in place to support this, like going for a walk or having a break and listening to music.

What has been one, or some of the biggest personal challenges for you to overcome to become the artist you are today? What is one, or some of the biggest realisations you have had in relation to this? 

Overcoming limiting beliefs - doubt, feeling crushed by the thoughts and feelings of others, worrying what they will think about me, not wanting to look bad, believing that I am wrong, that I don’t belong here, that I am not ok as I am.  Working through trauma and healing these limiting self beliefs has given me the confidence and courage to believe in myself. Periodically checking in with my experience means I can connect to the joy of my own work. I am always learning and I am so committed to the work I do around healing. I now see the potential in my paintings to connect to people’s hearts and the healing power held within them to transform their pain.

I still have moments when I might slip into low periods or flatness and there might be some doubt mixed in with that but it’s happening less and less and I have little or no anxiety now. It’s just fear that has been holding me back.  I feel bright and open and outward focused. I can feel my vibration is higher. My boss said to me the other day that she can feel the light coming from me, I was very moved by her connecting to this. 

What or who are some of the biggest influences on your work? Can you share a quote, a book or film that has been a big influence on you?

"But now and then comes an hour when the silence is all but absolute, and listening to it one slips out of time. Such a silence is not a mere negation of sound. It is like a new element, and the world is suspended there, and I in it." 

Nan Shepherd

What advice would you give to someone who is starting to open up to their sensitivity and intuitive nature?

Nurture that gift, trust the process and lean into it. Imagine and play with ideas of becoming the person you want to be.  I love doing this, it’s so creative and has helped me play with my imagination and wonder for all the possibilities that lie ahead of me. When I do this I get a feel for where to focus my energies and I feel supported in my imagining. Have courage to be who you are and to do what you came here to do. Remember that you are always in the right place at the right time, anchor into that confidence. Believe you can and you will.

……………………..

It’s safe to be seen

I pour some milky white onto the canvas and it frees my soul

The work I do matters

Let the light within guide me

Courage

I will be loved

It’s safe to be me

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